Vol. 3, Issue #15 August 29th - Sept. 11th, 2008

The Faulking Truth

The Naked Truth About The Naked Truth

By: Mark Faulk
© 2008 Mark Faulk. All rights reserved.

After almost five years of covering financial fraud on The Faulking Truth, and over two years of writing The Naked Truth: Investing in the Stock Play of a LIfetime, I have honed the thirty-second sound bite to a fine art. At first, I reveled in boring everyone (and I mean everyone, including random people who I accosted on street corners and in homeless shelters), but after the hundredth retelling of the intricacies of the seedy underbelly of financial fraud, I began to bore even myself. Since then, I’ve gradually refined my litany to the point where I can condense the book into a single catchphrase-laden paragraph for drunken partygoers sucking back jello shots:

“Wellllll.....basically, it’s about a tiny diamond mining company from Canada whose CEO promised to create a ‘million millionaires’, but instead teamed up with a bunch of crooks from Las Vegas and sold over 70o billion (emphasis on ‘billion’) shares of stock to 50,000 shareholders, raking in over $250 million. Eventually, a small group of shareholders end up taking on the crooks and the entire financial system in an effort to find justice and retribution.”

Then, for the really thinking-impaired, I follow up with “It’s sort of an Ocean’s Eleven meets Erin Brockovich and John Grisham kind of thing.”

And sometimes, I end with “And in the (yet to be signed, sealed, or delivered) movie, Bruce Willis leaps out of a second story window with flames licking at his middle-aged but still muscular naked ass and lands right on top of Julia Roberts…and they make out as the credits roll.”

And then we all laugh…okay, I guess you have to be there. Trust me, it’s funny as hell.

On the book website (blatant promo HERE: www.thenakedtruthbook.com), I describe it a little more eloquently, but then, I’m assuming people reading the internet are both educated and sober. (Yeah, I know, but it’s a nice thought):

“CEO Urban Casavant initially told investors he would create ‘a million millionaires,’ but, instead, shareholders were led down an uncertain path where they couldn’t separate guilty from innocent or fact from fiction, a path fueled by rumors, innuendos, and outright lies. This tale of promises and blind faith fueled by hopes of riches paints the metaphor of the proverbial American Dream. Readers will live the range of emotions, from elation to disappointment, and everything in between, that 50,000+ shareholders experienced on a roller coaster ride they called ‘The Stock Play of a Lifetime’. Encompassing more than the company’s trials and tribulations, the book follows the shareholders’ fight against inept bureaucracy at the highest levels of America’s financial governance….and then Bruce Willis leaps out of a second story window with flames licking at his middle-aged but still muscular naked ass and lands right on top of Julia Roberts…and they make out as the credits roll.”

So yeah, that’s about it. Two years of intense research and sleep deprivation, hundreds of interviews, a couple of death threats, and a not-so-healthy dose of blood, sweat, and yes, even a few tears, condensed into 350 pages of scintillating page-turning drama.

Yeah, that’s right, I said “scintillating”. What of it?

Surprisingly, the book isn’t even in stores yet, but it’s been featured in an upcoming documentary on financial fraud (coming soon to a theater near you….unless you live in Oklahoma) and has already attracted serious interest in the movie rights. True, “serious interest” doesn’t come with a check attached, but it’s yet another bit of information that makes me a hit at parties, dinners, and even the occasional funeral.

So anyway, buy the damn book (reprise blatant promo: www.thenakedtruthbook.com) so I can pay some past-due bills, or better yet, come to the NONfactory at 3122 N. May in Oklahoma City from 6:00 to 8:30 PM and buy it at a discount, and I’ll even sign it for you. And there’s art…and maybe even music, and naked dancers. And if you wait until I’ve had a glass or two of wine, I might even write something clever in your book.

Eh, probably not (and I lied about the naked dancers too).

But you should come anyway. Bring your own jello shots, and I’ll regale you with witty witticisms, complete with animated hand gestures and graphic gory details…wearing all my clothes.

And that’s the Faulking (Naked) Truth.

Contact Mark Faulk: faulkingtruth@gmail.com

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