Vol. 3, Issue #13 July 18th - July 31st, 2008


Beamed out of My Mind:
Are You My Mother?

By: H. Barry Zimmerman

“Do you relate to T.V.?”
“No, I relate to the toaster.”
“No, I mean do you relate to the shows on T.V.?”
“I relate to toast.”
“Do you like any T.V. shows?”
“I like to relate to toasted bread while I watch T.V.”
“What do you watch while relating to toasted bread?”

Sometimes when picking my nose, right as the booger is almost out, I lose the booger. At this moment someone will always approach me to ask me a question. I cover the center of my face and franticly search for the lost booger. I search my face, the area below my nose first, then up the sides of my nose, if that doesn’t result in locating the missing goo, I spin my hand around, examining first the picker then associated digits until the booger is found. All the while I am attempting to act casual and smooth conversing with the person who is unknowingly near busting me in a third grade moment.
The booger is always on the back side, on knuckle two of the picking finger.
Presently, the Greatest band on Earth (and that means my favorite, when anyone uses words like “best”, “Greatest” they just mean “my preference”) is Japanese three-piece Boris. They are the best. Yay Boris.

Top 5 Newest Discs on My Nano:
5. Slayer—Christ Illusion
4. Motorhead—Ace of Spades
3. Guitar Wolf—Loverock
2. Boris—Pink
1. Boris—Okuma no Uta

Double up on your drinking water and triple up on your Rock.


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©2008 NONCO Media, L.L.C.